Secrets of Medieval Chatfield Revealed

 
Back in the middle ages, how did the stylish people know they were trendy, and how did their lessors know they were not? Newly discovered ancient texts describe in detail the fierce fashion rivalry that existed between the medieval kingdoms of Lanesboroborough, Rochesterchershire, and Chatfield-on-Root. These three quiet, isolated kingdoms had little contact with the world beyond their borders, and so, by necessity, became their own tastemakers. Queen Destiny of Rochesterchershire felt confident others would follow her lead. King Bjorn Bjornson Schwinn of Lanesboroborough frequently mislead rivals in fashion folly, and King Bieber and Queen Stella of Chatfield-on-Root knew, when it came to unnecessary embellishment in fashion or home goods,  they “owned” it.

Duke Newcomb and Friar Incanola, always anxious to curry favor with the royals, were quick to make gifts of all the trendy updates they encountered. There was no explanation of where the curious fads originated, but some felt the local witches: Verma, Tempest, and Yolanda had a hand in it. It was rumored that they could see into the future and obtain future inventions for their own devious purposes.

King Bieber and Queen Stella were blessed, kind of, with two daughters: the beautiful but slightly spoiled Princess Princess, who never saw a shade of pink she didn’t like; and the equally lovely, but rebellious Princess Barbie, who, at this point in life, is found going through that Goth- hipster-steampunk phase that every princess seems to go through.

According to the ancient text, the royal class spent decades in meaningless pursuits, while the peasant population suffered miserably, cheered only by how well turned out their overlords were. Then one day a Narrator entered the kingdom causing the assembly to say and think things they never said or thought before. King Bieber was suddenly alert to the danger of the Zumbrota Horde to the north. Queen Stella suddenly noticed cap sleeves were unflattering. And the witch trio, trying to acquire the Narrator’s magic, could not help but break into a song and dance routine instead.

How would it all end? Would the royals suddenly become caring and decent people and feel compassion for their subjects? Would feuding princesses unite on the field of battle? Would mummers from Lanesboro barge in, even though all the castle lights were off and everyone pretended they weren’t home? Or would the Zumbrota Horde sweep down from the north and destroy all of Chatfield-on-Root?

Find out at the 2014 Mostly Annual Medieval Feast, Chatfield Center for the Arts, 420 Main Street, November 20-21-22. Doors open at 6:30 PM for “Merry Hour.” Tickets are $30 and may be purchased online at WitsEndTheatre.org, or by calling our box office: 507-867-8780. Ticket are only on sale through November 13th so caterers can prepare. The meal will be catered by Canadian Honker. Dinner includes country salad, hearty bread, and Chicken Boursin with sides of roast potatoes and green beans with carrots. Plus cheesecake variety for dessert, coffee and wassail. Wine, beer and soft drinks are available for an additional fee. Great music, fun skits, bad jokes, and over-acting: free of charge.